After the Fall
by urorhel
Summary: John Ross seeks comfort whilst Pamela seeks to make amends for her fathers actions.
1. Chapter 1

**After the Fall**

_John Ross seeks comfort and Pamela seeks to apologise for the actions of her father. _

**_Set around the next episode, JR'S MASTERPIECE, spoilers for everything that's been before. Based on rumours and speculation from the episode in question and basically cause I wanted to write a John Ross/Pamela Rebecca fic.I still feel this chapter could do with some more work but I'm slowly working my way back in to writing regularly, its possible I'll edit and rework it at a later date. I have at least one other chapter to follow this._**

**_Reviews and constructive criticisms are most welcome._**

**_All mistakes are my own._**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

He's not entirely sure how his day ended up like this; most of the afternoons become a blur after storming out of his father's memorial service. Somehow, though, he ended up at Southfork and the only one home was Ann's long lost spawn.

Ann's attractive long lost spawn.

It starts innocently enough, talking at the ranch but somehow they've made it up to the guest bedroom, hands are shedding clothes in a frantic manner and lips are crashing onto one another with urgency and need.

Common sense tells him that this is a bad idea.

Common sense be damned, besides, he thinks, he's John Ross Ewing and it's not as if everyone doesn't expect him to fuck up in spectacular fashion anyhow. Right now he needs a distraction, he needs to feel something, anything other than the overwhelming numbness that's been consuming him ever since that phone call, and he needs a distraction to lose himself in. It also helps that said distraction is rather attractive and looking for an escape herself.

As a plan its working pretty well, that is until the memory of a certain brunette pops into his head. The feel of her lips on his, the heat and electricity he'd feel from just one touch, the playful dominance that went on between and beautiful expressive eyes that looked up at him whenever he got the upper hand.

_It's just been awhile_. A mocking voice in his head supplies.

It has been awhile he thinks, for a brief period it was just Pamela and after that, well he was just, just too busy and focused on business to concern himself with 'extra circular activities' he attempts to justify to this excuse to himself.

_I don't believe you;_ he hears a familiar voice in the back of mind supply.

He tries again to focus on Emma. They are lying on her bed, her on her back and him hovering over her, both half clothed. He places small delicate kisses along her stomach slowly working his way up her torso. His hands brush against her sides, trailing behind his kisses, lingering slightly. More delicate kisses are placed on her neck and he pulls himself up slightly to look at her. Her fingers ever so lightly trail down his back, he smiles. Leaning forward his lips lightly brush hers and when he pulls back to look at her again she smiling back at him. All of a sudden he's backing to thinking about beautiful expressive eyes staring back up at him ( not that Emma's aren't, they are, it's just, there not the ones he's become accustom to) and the devilish smile that went with them.

He blinks as if that will purge him from all these thoughts entering his head. He attempts to focus on Emma and the here and now. He leans in again to kiss her, this time harder and with more passion then last time. He needs this he reminds himself, as the kiss intensifies; he needs to feel something, anything other than the all-consuming numbness and the reminders that certain things will never be his.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

I just like to thank all those who reviewed, you made my day. I'm not sure where I'm going with this or how long it will be. I've kind of rushed this chapter, I'm going away for a few weeks soon so won't be able to post anything plus I think I wanted to have these chapters posted before the episode airs and I can be influenced by anything that has goes on in it.

Its a little rushed and I'm not entirely happy with it but I'm thinking once I know where I'm going with this story I'll go back and rework a few things.

I hope you guys enjoy.

Happy Larry Hagman Day.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

The door opens and Ann's tired and weary face greets her.

'_Pamela._' The smile she greets Pamela with is genuine and Pamela cannot help but offer a small smile in return

_'I uh,_' she falters for a moment, '_I am sorry to disturb you, I want to speak to Bobby to,_' for some reason his name fails to roll off her tongue. She takes a deep breath. _'To you all actually, I wanted to apologise for earlier._'

Anne smiles reassuringly at her and steps aside, so she can enter.

As usual, the Ewing's have congregated in the kitchen, Bobby sits defeated at the breakfast bar whilst Elena stands on the other side Christopher hovering beside her and the youngest Ewing brother Gary stands on the outside of the inner Ewing circle. There is no sign of Sue Ellen or John Ross.

They all turn to look up as she enters the room, followed closely by Ann. She notes the usual venom emitted from Christopher is no longer there, she wonders if he is just too tired to try to be angry with her today.

_'I'd hoped you'd all be here.'_

It is Elena who speaks up_, 'Sue Ellen wanted some time alone and John Ross has not been seen since….since this afternoon.' _

_'About that. It is why I am here. I wanted to apologise for the way my father behaved today.'_

She can tell by the look on everyone's faces that this is unexpected but she's not the monster Christopher paints her out to be and she knows that her father crossed a line today and she determined to make it right, not that she can but the least she can do is acknowledge her father's wrong doings with an apology. This people are her children's family and she has seen enough messed up family dynamics to last her a lifetime, she wants something different for her children.

_'You do not have to apologise for your father Pamela.' Ann's soft voice is accompanied by a light squeeze of her arm._

_'I do, I should. What he did, what he said. He shouldn't have said those things.'_

Bobby looks her square in the eyes. _'Thank you. It's appreciated.'_

_'Would you like some coffee? _Pamela breaks eye contact from Bobby to look at where the voice came from and is more than a little shocked to see that the offer was made by the father of her children.

She does not know who is surprised more by this offer, her, or the man that makes it.

_'I can't.' _She laughs slightly and gestures towards her ever-growing stomach.

Christopher lets out a small chuckle ._ 'Sorry, tea?_

_'Yes, tea would be lovely.' _She takes a seat at the breakfast bar and Ann pours her a stemming cup of tea.

After a few moments its Bobby that speaks up again,_ 'I hope your father didn't cause you too much trouble.' _

_'No.' _she lies_._

_'JR and your father never really cared for each.'_

_'Still not an excuse.'_

_'I like to say that I think JR would of acted differently to Cliff but.' _Bobby trails off not finishing his sentence, he looks over to Pamela, and she offers him a small smile in return.

They sit in a somewhat comfortable silence, each person deep in their own thoughts. After awhile of inconsequential chatter, she decides to leave but not before asking Ann if she can use the toilet, these twins of hers are starting to play havoc on her bladder.

_'Why of course. I am afraid you will have to use the upstairs one we have been having a few plumbing problems downstairs.'_

Pamela smiles and makes her way up the Ewing family stairs. She tired and today has been an awfully long day and she cannot help but be disappointed that the one person she wanted to speak to is not here. She splashes her face with cold water she tries to compose herself a little. _You are a Barnes and Barnes do not little emotions get in the way, of anything_. She can almost hear her father's voice in her head.

She blames her hormones for this outburst.

As she makes her way down the corridor, far to lost in her own thoughts that she almost collides with someone exiting the guest room.

_'Oh I'm sorry.' _She wonders how long he's been here at Southfork and why nobody knew he was home. All of a sudden she doesn't feel at all ready to face him, she can't explain why that is.

_'What are you doing here_.' He sounds slightly defensive.

She takes a deep breath, '_I came to apologise.'_

'_Apologise_? John Ross questions.

_' To your family and you.'_

_'Pamela_.' She hates the way her name just seems to roll off his tongue in some seductive manner.

He moves several steps toward her.

'_I'm sorry about this afternoon. My father._'

He nods.

All of a sudden, there is barely any space between them and he is reaching for her hand like he did all those weeks ago, this time she lets him.

_'I'm sorry about JR.'_ she whispers, all too aware of John Ross's thumb tracing little circles on the back of her palm. She finds it highly distracting, the way it makes her pulse race just that little faster.

'_I know.'_ He makes another move to come even closer into her personal space.

The door creeks and the moment, whatever that moment could have been is gone. A young blonde-haired woman emerges from the room John Ross exited moments ago. Pam looks at the young woman .It takes her a second to place her, Emma, her mind supplies, Ann's daughter. She looks back at John Ross, who looks slightly panicked.

She drops her hand from his grasp.

_'I should go.' _

_'Pamela.'_ There it is again, that soft pleading tone in his voice, almost as if he was sorry.

Her voice suddenly adopts a cold emotionless tone,_ 'I will see it you at the next board meeting John Ross.'_

She is halfway down the stairs before he has a chance to respond. She makes a polite but hasty goodbye to the rest of the Ewing's. Ann offers to see her out but she declines , she will be fine.

She regrets that decision when she makes a move towards the door only to find that John Ross is already there. Reaching for the door handle, John Ross's hand stops her. Pamela tries her best not to look at him focusing only his hand on hers and the door in front of her.

_'It's not what it looks like._'

She turns to look at him. '_It's none of my business._'

_'Let me explain.'_

_'I don't need an explanation. There's nothing to explain' _She cannot help but punctuate the last three words of her sentence.

John Ross let his hands fall from hers, defeated. Pamela chooses to make her escape.

Outside she leans against her car and takes several deep breathes. Stupid hormones she curses under her breath.


	3. Chapter 3

Firstly I want to thank all who have read, reviewed, followed. It was such a lovely surprise to get such wonderful feedback.

I've been away so I haven't been able to post anything new for the past few weeks. Sorry about that. I also have to admit that I've been struggling to decide where I want to take this story. It was written cause a I saw a preview and a plot bunny popped into my head. I am currently trying to decide where to take this story, am I going to follow things that have been happening in the episodes, with a fanfic twist or do I decide to go in a completely different direction. I think the next few chapter will probably follow the past two episodes closely, to a point before I start to drift away.

So about this chapter. I have introduced an OC. I do feel for Pamela as she doesn't seem to have anyone at all, her only family in Dallas is her father and she doesn't seem to have any friends from her past. I thought that was a little sad and depressing so I've changed that.

I suppose you could say that this is a filler chapter. No John Ross/Pamela interaction. Just Pamela talking to a ''stranger''.

I hope you enjoy and hopefully I have more chapters filled with John Ross/Pamela goodness up soon.

Once again thank you and enjoy this chapter.

When she gets back from the Ewings she takes a long hot shower but somehow now matter how hard she tries she can still feel the lingering touch of John Ross on her hand. She lets out another deep sigh, something she's been doing a lot lately. When she gets ready for bed she opts for comfort over style, it just her here anyway so what does it matter. She settles down in a rather comfy seat by the window, hoping to take a few moments to relax before she heads to bed.

An hour and half later and she's still wide awake, staring at the phone sitting on the arm of the chair, she makes the unconscious move to bite her thumb, it a nervous habit she hasn't done it several years, when she notices she stops immediately.

She picks up the phone, puts it down, picks it up again, this little dance continues for a few more minutes until she picks up the phone one last time and dials.

There's a muffled sleeply voice other the other end of the line and it belongs to the one person Pamela trusts more than anyone else in the world.

'_Pam.'_

'_Crap.'_ She suddenly overwhelmed with guilt. '_I'm sorry Maddie. I forgot about the time difference.' _

She had thought it was a good idea, to call her oldest friend, forgetting that said friend was an ocean away working in Europe.

There is a tired laugh at the other end, '_That's ok. Is everything alright?'_

'_Yes._' Her reply is a little rushed and doesn't sound convincing. ' _I'm sorry I should let you go…_

Before Pamela starts rambling the voice on the other line cuts her off. '_Pam. What's wrong?_' It's a commanding tone, far more awake then it was 30 seconds ago.

'_It's just been a really long day.'_

'_You wanna talk about it?'_

'_What time is?_

'_Meh its like 3, 4 in the morning. '_

'_I'm sorry.'_

There's a laugh and its warm and genuine and it makes Pamela feel lighter. '_Its fine. You wanna tell me what's wrong.'_

Pamela bites her lip, '_Yes…..No.'_

'_You wanna just talk.'_

Pamela smiles her first genuine smile in weeks, '_yeah I'd like that.'_

'_Be like old times.'_

Pamela beams, '_Yeah, just like old times.'_

They talk for a little while about things that matter very little, the weather, work, travel, things from their shared teenage years, little things in life. The topic of the twins is touched upon and Pamela feels worlds better for being able to share the little things about her pregnancy with someone who seems genuinely interested in it. She feels so at ease she doesn't even realise what she says next till is out.

'_Cliff made a scene at JR's memorial today.'_

There is a long silence. '_Oh._' Another silence. '_Is that what this phone call is about?'_

Pamela wriggles in her seat suddenly very uncomfortable.

' _Since you know he made a scene I take it you were there?_

'_Yes,_' there's a pause before she admits the next part, '_I wanted to show my support for John Ross.'_

'_Aaaahh and uh how did that go?_ Pamela swears she can feel her smiling down the phone.

'_I don't think my support or my presence was welcome._' She admits feeling slightly defeated.

'_I'm sorry, I know that uh that your feelings for John Ross.'_

Pamela snaps she knows what's being implied here.

'_I don't have feelings for John Ross._' She exhales and takes a moment to calm herself she didn't mean to snap. ' _I do care about him but_.' She struggles to explain herself and is becoming frustrated. She differently isn't going to mention her visit to the Ewing home earlier that evening.

A calm soothing voice comes down the line. '_Right I understand, you care about him he's been your sort of ally recently, it's a friendship if sorts, it's totally understandable. I didn't mean to imply anything but that.'_

'_I'm sorry I snapped, long day.'_

'_I forgive you…..This once.'_

Pamela laughs. '_Thanks._' There silence again but it's not uncomfortable or awkward.

'_Maybe you should approach John Ross with an olive branch, something to reboot that business relationship you guys have.'_

Pamela smiles she likes that idea. '_Any suggestions?'_

'_You're a smart girl, you'll find something.' _It's been a while since she's heard a voice have that much confidence in her, her father certainly doesn't. It makes Pamela ache for a simpler time away for Dallas.

'_I should go, try get some sleep.' _

She doesn't really want to, this whim of a phone call has reminded her of how much she misses things, PEOPLE from her past, before Dallas, before Christopher even before Tommy. She's never really been a girl that's had many friends, always to guarded to let people in and the ones she had made she lost contact with long ago, expect Maddie.

_Maddie doesn't count,_ a voice in her head supplies.

'Ok, well let me know how things go. Night Pamela.'

'Maddie.'

'Yeah.'

Pam hesitates, bites her lip, its not something she'd normally admit to but it's been a long and emotional day and her pregnancy is blame havoc with her emotions.

'I miss you.'

'I miss you to Pam. Night.'

'Night.' Silent tears seem to of made their way down Pamela cheeks. She brushes them away.

_Stupid hormones_, she thinks.

She heads to bed feeling lighter than she did a few hours ago. In the morning she'll see what kind of olive branch she can find to reach out to John Ross with.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hello, So I've had this chapter almost done for nearly a week and had big plans to have it up and posted by Tuesday. As you can see that didn't happen. I've been come so frustrated with trying to finish it, it's become a little rushed and I'm not entirely happy with the latter half of it. I wanted to get it up so I could move on to some Pamela/John Ross moments. Next chapter is my twist on the talk in episode 2x09. A preview of which is at the end._

_Sorry its not that great and yes I know John Ross is still absent but I promise to have some John Ross/Pamela stuff next to make up for it._

_Deep calming breathes, in and out, in… and out._

Anger surged through Pamela although she couldn't quite decide who her anger should be directed at, the mismatched twosome upstairs, who had just given her a dressing down, or her father, who was obviously up to something behind her back. Her phone was out and dialing a familiar number before she'd even gone down five floors in the elevator.

She skips all greetings and opens the conversation with a rather abrupt. '_I need your help.'_

_'Ok.'_ There's no pause, no hesitation sometimes it scares Pamela that she can call up and ask anything of her friend.

She explains the afternoons events how having found some oil leases she went to John Ross hoping to rejuvenate their business relationship only to find herself confronted by an angry John Ross, Christopher tag team.

_' I take it you'll be doing your own digging as well ?'_

_´Yes.'_ Pamela has never been one to sit around and twiddle her thumbs.

_' What are you going to do when you get the answer?' _

Pamela smiles at the voices confidence, it's a matter of when, not if she gets the answer.

'_I don't know._' She lies, they both know it's a lie.

_'Is this about your feelings for the Ewing boy.'_

_'No.'_ Pamela lies again, '_This is about fixing a business partnership, a successful business partnership.' _She doesn't know who she's trying to convince more.

'_Right, its always about business_.' Maddie's voice adopts a sudden cooler tone, as if she disapproves but Pamela's not sure what of.

'_I call you when I have some news.'_

She shouldn't be surprised when she gets a call later that evening, she's always pleasantly surprised when people come through for her, even if it is one of oldest friends.

_'I take it you know what I know_.' The voice sounds awfully confident.

'_That delightful Ms Jones wishes to start a political career._' There's no emotion to Pamela's voice, its almost robotic.

_'Indeed.I'm guessing you don't need me to tell you who will be bankrolling that.'_

_'Cliff Barnes.'_ Pamela answers and she can't help but feel disappointed with the confirmation that her father seems to have very little trust in her.

_'The one and only. I don't know why you needed my help, you obviously knew what I was going to tell you.'_

'_I needed someone I could trust to confirm my answers for me, besides finding out people's deep darks secrets is what you do right?!_

_' Always nice to be invited into the Pamela Rebecca Barnes circle of trust. Starting to thinking my membership had been revoked.' _ A slight hint of sarcasm laces her voice.

It wasn't a barb intending to be spiteful or hurtful to Pamela but it's a gentle reminder to how closed off she's become to those she once trusted. A reminder that's those walls she built, they have cracks and only those who are truly worthy seem able to push past through them.

Maddie's voice breaks Pamela from these thoughts. '_What are you going to do now?'_

Pamela lets out a rather frustrated sigh_. 'I don't know.'_ She whispers.

'_Is this tied to your feelings for the Ewing boy ?'_

Pamela rolls her eyes. '_His name is John Ross.'_

_'I know his name.'_ There's a pause in the conversation and Pamela swears she can almost see the smile creeping up on her friends face. '_So this is to do with your feelings ?'_

'_I uh….not entirely_.' The confession feels like a small weight has been lifted.

_'I know._' Pamela knows from the tone of voice that Maddie understands.

'_Things these past few months have been…_' she tries to find the right word, strained, confusing.

'_He slept with someone else._' The confessions out before she can stop herself.

_'Right.' _There' a loud sigh before Maddie speaks next and Pamela thinks she can detected a hint of frustration in her voice_. 'An this matters because?' _

Maddie already knows the answer, she just wonders if Pam does to.

'_It doesn't matter,' _a pause, a sigh and then the truth,_ 'It shouldn't matter.'_

A soft voice comes down the other line. '_But it does.'_

_'But it does._' Pamela repeats with a defeated sigh.

There is one of those comfortable silence that's happens every so often between the two of them. Pamela is trying to deal with her hormones and the realisation that she can no longer carry on ignoring her growing feelings for John Ross and Maddie ?! Well she's stuck halfway round the world listening to her best friends very own soap opera play out, wondering what possible advice she could give to make that situation just that little less complicated…..

_There's none. She thinks_

_'I think. I, I think,' _Pamela stammers unable to find her words. '_I think I've missed him.' _There is pause and Pamela lets out a breath she didn't realise she was holding, suddenly feeling ten times lighter.

'_It's just so quiet here._' She whispers.

From down the other line Pamela hears a muffled bang, she imagines its Maddie dramatically collapsing on the bed, as she did when they were teenagers.

_'You're about to have twins you should be savouring every moment of quietness you have. There will be no quiet times once those two arrive_.'

Pamela laughs out loud.

_ 'You know,_' Maddie's voice suddenly adopts a different tone. 'I _was thinking I'm kind of getting tired of all this travelling and well ending up in the middle of god knows where.'_ Pamela chuckles. ' _It's just getting to much all this travelling, think it's time to just settle in one place for a bit and I was thinking that maybe I could come stay with you in Dallas. '_

Pamela can hardly contain the smile that breaks out on her face. _'I'd like that.'_

_'Oh good cause it wasn't really an option for you to say no, plans have already been made. You might want to treasure that quiet time you have. So what are you going to do about John Ross?'_

Pamela sighs, this delightful fun conversation has now turned back to its original emotionally conflicting topic.

_'I have to tell him what I know.'_

_'That's very brave of you.' _Maddie sounds almost proud.

_'I not sure telling John Ross about my father's deal with Ms Jones can be counted as brave.'_

_'Oh.' _Pamela knows that tone, it's thinly masked disappointment_. 'I thought you were… Good luck with that.'_

They talk some more before Maddie yawns one too many times and Pamela feels guilty for keeping her up, they say their goodnights.

Pamela thinks about going to bed, it is pretty late but this John Ross situation is playing on her mind. She grabs her coat and keys and heads out the door.

1 hour later….

He's not sure how his evening ended up like this, it's certainly not how he planned to end his evening. But here he is standing here, feeling like an absolute fool. He brushes a hand through his hair, John Ross does not like feeling like a fool. But somehow that's exactly what Pamela Rebecca Barnes makes him feel like.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Thank you once again for all your reviews and follows. It brings a smile to my face.

Here's some promised John Ross and Pamela ''action''.

Tiny little bit of dialogue lifted from show, I own nothing, just borrowing.

I hope you guys enjoy.

Slipping off his coat John Ross heads to his mini bar to pour himself a well-deserved drink, he has barely had time to savour the drink before there is a knock at the door. He's more than a little surprised to see who is on the other side.

'_Hey.'_

_'Hey.' _His abrupt tone is in stark contrast to her soft voice.

_'Can I come in?'_

He moves aside and lets her enter.

'_What can I do for you Pamela?'_

_'I've come to prove that I had nothing to doing with my father undercutting your deal. Alison Jones flipped because my father promised to bankroll her political career._'

'_One step ahead of you._' He takes a swig of his drink. ' _Its been dealt with.'_

Pamela lets out a loud sigh. '_So this has been a waste of time._'

John Ross almost makes a move to reach out for her, almost, but stops himself before he does.

'_No, Pamela….'_ Before he can finish his sentence, Pamela interrupts him.

_'Bathroom.'_ She says urgently covering her mouth.

Pamela does not wait for a reply but brushes past him and before John Ross knows what is happening he hears his bathroom door slamming.

He gently sets his glass down on the coffee table and hesitantly approaches the bathroom door. He hears retching sounds from the other side, his hand on door falters slightly, unsure of what his next move should be. The retching sounds stop.

John Ross lightly taps on the door, '_Pamela.'_

No answer.

_'Pam.'_ still no answer. He decides to just go for it and opens the door, Pamela is on a heap of the floor, head bowed over the toilet. A wave of unexplainable concern washes over John Ross and he forgets that he was ever angry with her.

_'Hey,'_ his voice has adopted a softer tone then the harsh and cutting one he was using only minutes ago. Pamela looks up at him, reaching out his brushes a few stray locks behind Pamela's ear. '_You okay?' _

_Stupid question_, his brain supplies. Pamela opens her mouth to reply but before words can come out, she is pushing John Ross out the way and empting her stomach contents in his toilet. It's almost as if its natural reaction and at first John Ross doesn't realise he's doing it, with one hand he reaches over and brushes Pamela's falling locks behind her ears, the other is rubbing small circles on Pamela's back, in gesture that's meant to offer some comfort. When he thinks that she finally finished he stand and taking a washcloth runs it under the cold water, after 30 seconds he squeezes any remaining water out and sits back down on the floor next to Pamela, gently, trying to be a soft as he can he daps her face with the damp cloth.

'_I'm sorry_.' She mumbles.

_'It's ok._' He whispers, one hand still dapping her forehead and cheeks with the cloth, the only gently brushing the strands of damp hair off her face.

_'I must look like such a mess right now_.' She sounds so tired and lost and not at all like the Pamela, John Ross has come to know.

He laughs. _'Darlin you could never look like a mess_.' He leans forward, cupping her face with his hands and plants a soft kiss on her forehead. 'I'm gonna get you a water.'

When he returns and hands a grateful Pamela the water he takes a better look at her, she looks pale and tired and he feels guilty for being mad at her the past few days. Its a few moments later when he realises that Pamela did not quite make it to the toilet in time as her coat and shirt are stained rather like his toilet bowl has been.

'_I'm gonna go get you something to change into.'_ He hurries out of the room not really noticing Pamela's embarrassed look down at the clothes she is wearing.

He does his best to find the loosest and largest items of clothing he owns but when Pamela exits the bathroom, after he handed her the clothes and mumbled something about waiting outside for her to change, he realises that he did not really succeed. The t-shirt he offered clings tightly to her and just about covers her as she stands in his living room, in nothing but her underwear and his t-shirt, the pants he offered her in her hands.

'_These didn't quite fit._' She hands the pants to John Ross.

He laughs awkwardly, trying to focus his attention on the words she says and not her. '_Right._'

He offers her a seat on the sofa and once she sat down her attempts to throw a blanket over her legs. His closeness seems to sit something offer in her as she suddenly leaps to her feet.

_'I should go.'_ A gentle but firm hand guides her back to her seat.

'_You're not going anywhere._' The voice is firm and commanding, followed by the little less confident '_I mean you shouldn't be on your own tonight._'

_'I'm fine John Ross. I'm sorry about everything, I'm just very tired and a little stressed. It's been a long day.'_

John Ross cannot help but feel a little guilty. Leaning down he perches himself on the coffee table in front of Pamela. He takes her hands in his, neither of them seem to be able to look each other in the eye instead they both focus on their intertwining hands.

'_Just for tonight, stay.'_ He whispers finally looking her in the eye.

Pamela does not answer with words but nods. They sit like that for a few minutes, hands locked together, so close yet so far from one another.

John Ross coughs. _'I'll uh make you a tea.' _

Pamela hands fall gently to her lap; she cannot help but feel disappointed with the lack of contact all of a sudden.

A few minutes later, a sheepish looking John Ross enters the room.

'_I uh have a pop out for a few things.'_

Pamela looks up at him slightly bemused.

'_I haven't spent much time here recently and cupboards are kind of bare.'_

Pamela lets out a little laugh. John Ross grabs his keys from the counter.

_'I won't be long, call me if you need anything.'_

_'Ok.'_

Pamela lies herself down on John Ross's sofa deciding that she will just shut her eyes, just for a moment.

He is not sure how his evening ended up like this, it is certainly, not how he planned to end his evening. However, here he is, feeling like an absolute fool. He brushes a hand through his hair, John Ross does not like feeling like a fool. Somehow, that is exactly what Pamela Rebecca Barnes makes him feel.

Its 9:45 at night and he's standing in a Wal-Mart trying to decide what Maternity wear Pamela would like best. The answer is none, but its late and really he has no other options.


End file.
